Well, we’ve now come to the fun??? part. The cleaning out of the house. As I started this process with the help of my family, I can tell right away that this isn’t going to be easy. I have mixed emotions about this. On one hand as I find a few things I’m excited to see what it is, who it may have belonged to and why my dad has it. As I start in his bedroom, I also feel like I’m invading his privacy. I’m going through dresser drawers, closets, under the bed and each place I touch is still fresh with the loss of my dad. No matter what I find, it brings back a memory. A lot of what I find is just items or papers or empty wrappers that need to be thrown away but in the closet we find a very old photo album that appears to be from back in the late 1800’s. As near as we can tell, it came with my great grandparents from Germany. This is one of those discoveries that makes me go “ahhhh”. I had no idea my dad had this, I don’t know where for sure it came from and I don’t know very many of the people in it. Some of the pictures are labeled which helps immensely, especially since there is hardly any family around to help me identify the people. As we move thru the bedroom, I also have several moments where I think “what in the world was he saving this for????” I’m only about an hour into this and so far, I have experienced sadness, laughter and quite a few tears. Now mind you, just about every place to store something is packed to the top and drawers are stuffed full. I find everything from old cards to receipts for things purchased years ago to notes of how to do something to goodness only knows what. My dad, bless his heart saved just about every card my mom ever gave him as well as ones I did, my brother did and his grand kids did. As I look thru those of my mom’s, I get very emotional since she is also gone, but now they are together again. I feel bad for looking at these since most of them have a hand written message in them. But as I read them, I have to smile at the love they had for each other. Now mind you, I didn’t read all of them and I only saved a few. Those that I thought had special meaning and reminded me of them.
Making our way thru the items in his bedroom we decided to donate some of them. We can’t keep all of it and don’t know anyone else who could benefit from the items and I hate to just throw them away. I do box up quite a few items as I begin to decide what we need to be saving. I bring items home every week as I start this to give me more time to decide exactly where it lies in the donate, sell or hang on to category. That in itself is a process and is taking a very long time.
Lesson learned so far, if there are pictures anywhere in your parents home, encourage them to go thru those with you. You will learn a bit more about your family and it will probably bring back some wonderful memories for them. I’m sure my dad would have enjoyed looking over some of these and telling me about each person and what they were like and how we were related. Please, don’t start this process alone. If it hasn’t been very long since you lost your loved one, it is going to be quite draining emotionally for you. I have found out that having someone with you when attempting this is best for you own well being.