Hello, this is my first blog, EVER. I’m a little terrified but I have thought about this for a few months. I lost my dad 10 months ago to cancer. For 10 months prior to that, I took care of him. Taking him back and forth to the doctor and appointments because he had problems with a leg that prevented him from driving or walking very far on his own. I had a lot of help from my family with this also. The reason I had to do this is because my mom passed away 16 years ago. That left me as a care giver when this happened.
When we discovered that he had cancer to say the least was quite a blow. He opted to try to fight it not knowing if it would work since he had a rare form of stomach cancer. The treatment lasted a few months before he got too weak and disoriented to continue. He ended up in the hospital because he wasn’t able to eat much and since he lived alone, they wanted to monitor him and try to get him to eat. After the treatments stopped, he did better but due to the effects, we opted to stop treatment and see what happened. It was determined that since he lived alone and couldn’t get around well that a nursing home was best. Of course he thought he would go there for a short time to continue to recover and then be able to go home. That was probably the hardest, convincing him he wouldn’t be able to go home again. The cancer had grown and his stomach was extremely distended and was uncomfortable. To say the least, we had quite a few discussions about this. It broke my heart to tell him this, but I wanted him around for as long as possible. He and I had become closer since my mom passed.
After being in the nursing home for a few months and having a couple of accidents, he finally understood what I had been trying to tell him. He accepted it but still didn’t like it. I visited him every other day and the rest of the family would go by a couple of days a week in between my visits. We would go sit outside a lot in the fresh air and just talk. I would update him on his great granddaughter and the latest going on with them since they lived in another town. He enjoyed their visits and hearing about them. Before he got where he couldn’t get around, he would go to all of his great granddaughters soccer games, school functions and volleyball games. He enjoyed those times.
The one thing he wanted while he was in the home was one last ride in his restored 1947 Ford. So my husband and I set out to try to get it running with the help of a couple of friends. Success, we brought the car to our house and I arranged to “break” him out of the home for a visit, at least that’s what he thought. I brought him to the house and told him we had a surprise, opened the garage door to see his car there. Told him he was going for a ride and he broke down. He got a little ride in it, we didn’t want to wear him out too much, but by god I had promised him one way or the other he would get his ride and he did. I hadn’t seen him smile that wide in a while so it was worth every bit of it. He also got something to eat besides what was offered in the home, a root bear float!! And he ate every bit of it.
I’m glad that we took him for his ride. A couple of weeks after that we arranged to take him for a ride to see the changing colors and when I got there to pick him up, he was quite sick and couldn’t go. I took a lot of pictures to show him and we went by later to visit and look at them. He enjoyed driving through the mountains so to be able to see them again was a nice treat. The cancer was spreading to other organs and he was getting weaker. A mere 6 weeks later, I lost him.
I’ve got a lot more to share about the process during and after but suppose I should stop here. My purpose in starting this blog is to hopefully share my feelings and help someone else through the before, during and after that I have been dealing with which is where the name came from. I hope you will enjoy my journey.
Rhonda